Zoe

Ok, so I know that you can find all of the information about Zoe on her blog:

http://www.zoemeigampp1.blogspot.com/

I just wanted to post her picture here on my blog.

I hate carrying a wallet. For the last seven years I have carried a front pocket wallet, but there are no places for pictures. Today I started carrying a traditional wallet again, just so I could carry her picture.

Enjoy the picture and visit Zoe's blog.

Tim

Happy to be Back...

I know I haven't blogged in forever, I seemed to have lost my desire to share. Over the summer I went through one of the greatest trials in my life. I experience a very sad time in my life and found that the only thing I could do is pray, and ask others to pray, and turn to the words of God for help. I struggled and hurt inside and continued to seek God. I always tried to do what was right, and when I had reached the place that God needed my to be, he lifted me up. Things are so much better now than they were before my trial and I can only bless God for this, he is the one who made it all happen. The really sad thing about breaking through my trial is that, as I find myself further and further away from the trial, I seem to forget how much God did for me. I now long for the closeness to God that I felt through the struggles and desire the closeness that we had without the pain.

The one great help through all of my troubles was and still is Christian Music, groups like Third Day, Reliant K, and Audio Adrenalin and artists like Toby Mac, and Natalie Grant seem to speak directly to me, helping to lift me out of my funk.

"and you said I know that this will hurt, but if I don't break your heart, then things will just get worse, If the burden seems too much to bear, Remember, the end will justify the pain it took to get us there."

Reliant K

Tim

(Eugene Proctor)

The Wandering is Over

I Posted this earlier today on Zoe's Blog:

OK, so I haven't posted yet on Zoe's blog. Does this make me a bad dad? Does it mean that I haven't cared enough to post up to this point? I personally don't think so, those of you who already know me know that I am quiet concerning my feelings. I have never been one to share what is going on deep down inside me. But now that this is really getting ready to happen, it is time to hear from me. I have been quietly excited from the beginning, I have been pretty sure that the adoption was going to happen, I just didn't want to get too excited, too soon. I felt like if I let all of my excitement out early I would peak to soon and wouldn't have the energy to finish strong. Little did I know that when we started all of this it would take this long. I appreciate all of the support that many of you have shown throughout this process, without your support I know that we would have never even made it this far in the adoption process. I am constantly amazed by the generosity of our friends, family, and on occasion complete strangers who have helped us through the process. Now, as we expect her referral in the next few days it is the time to get too excited.I seem to have lost the ability to focus on anything. Focus has never been my strong suit anyhow, I am easily distracted by shiney objects. I don't sleep well, and I run to the phone every time it rings. I can not even begin to tell you how excited I am, I have waited a very long time for this day to come, and now that it is here I am not sure what to do, so I will revert to some of my old habits.

I will list for you some of the fragmented random thoughts I am having about the adoption.

1. I wonder what Zoe will look like. There is a rumor that they try to match the looks of the child with the looks of the adopting father. ( Scary)
2. With the time difference between here and China, when we come home, we could feasibly go back in time. (COOL)
3. I cannot wait to eat real Chinese food. (MMMMMM)
   If the monetary conversion rate is 9 to 1, could I take $100,000 Convert it to $900,000 Chinese dollars and retire?
4. Just how much wood, could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? (sorry, FOCUS)

Here is a verse from the Toby Mac song Suddenly, it has helped me with the wait:

"Sometimes it's in an instant, Sometimes we wait for years, But it comes down to the moment when faith eclipses fear, Your wandering is over, The other side is real, You've broken through, Your mountain moved, And mercy is revealed, His mercy is revealed. Yeah."

It may not fit just right for our situation, but it has helped me.

Tim